so its been awhile, simply keeping thoughts to myself i guess. im gonna post a painting i made for "the upstairs apartment gallery", a monthly gallery my friend stoo puts on featuring indie arists from around halifax.
this painting was inspired by my buddy alex. WE were sitting drinking some brews, discussing how much greater everything would be if natural disasters or phenomenon were replaced with beards. bearanos wreeking havoc, beardcanos, beardicanes, beadnamis, beardning or a beardclipse.

so i present you, the beard rainbow! (or beardbow)

"i need to know how you feel about me, on a scale of one to ten" he asked.
"less than three", i answered.

and so he left.
i hope someday he gets the joke.

2008:bring it on bitches

i write this note with morrose introspection sick humour and thanks. some things ive come to realise over the last year are to follow.what kind of a horrible fiendish god would allow me to live this long, i am unsure. like a highschool whore waiting to be filled with prom juice loving i tell you this:

1. moving to a new province doesnt change who you are, and you will basically still live the same you lived before. a 360 in life is basically impossible unless you are dead. not saying i neccesarily thought it would change anything, but face it toots, you are who you are.

2. be it a degression fom everything right with the world, but i find things offensive to other people hilarious. im sorry if you think making sterotype jokes are wrong; it is this tiptoing around the world with a lack of humor that makes people enemies. im a midget cracker frog, what of it?

3. everybody is the same. sure we all have different quirks and morales, haircuts, jeans and peircings. you own more stuff than me. that guy over there was molested. her mother is crazy. who the fuck cares. we're all just waiting around for the day when we know what the fuck is going on.

4. it's hard to meet people: coworkers, the homeless, and parole officers being the exceptions. if you've made one solid connection this year, be thankful, because you are the luckiest person alive. thanks jack osbourne, you're great buddy.

5.don't fuck with your family, if you have any. they will be with you through thick and thin, constantly critisizing, forever judging, there only demand is unconditional love. they are the ones you go to for money and to help you hide from life. they say the only consistent in life is change. wrong, it's family.

6.the world owes you nothing. im sorry if youve had a shitty year, stuff got stolen, you have a shitty job and your girlfriend gives shitty blowjobs. dont blame the world, you are lucky to be here. waa waa waa. thinking the world owes you something for a bad hand dealt is like pleading to a duck with two wooden legs why you havent won the lottery. suck it up buttercup.

7. if you have the honor of being in love and being loved back, treat that person as if they would be gone tommorrow. if you are just going through the motions, give it a rest. you'll both be happier for it.

8. yes, everything can be seen in a humourous way, everything.

9. if you are fortunate enough to have any sort of talent, get off your ass and use it. sis, im looking in your direction.

10. i dont care what anybody says, micheal keaton is the best batman.

in closing, it may sound angry and forceful, but it's not how it was intended. i come into 2008 with a grin on my face and a room full of drunken foodfight activities. bring it on.

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” - Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-71)

if i could live in your smile lines
i would be happy forever

you say everything worth saying has already been said
like profoundness is a mystical illusion this generation is uncapable of feeling
so you piece together your sayings and mottos
throw them about so carelessly
dance around statements and realizations

arent we all just peices of someone elses thoughts?
arent we all just the products of society?

fuck you and your shopping cart religion