fantasies of people ill never truly know
passing each day wondering what the outcome would be if i said this
or did that or smiled at that comment
retrospective vision i suppose

reminding myself of groundhog day the movie
and realizing
that if ive lived a single day a million times over
id still never really know you

i just bought a hammer for some reason at my work
i must have getting hammered on my mind.
~cough~

long weekend this weekend, i feel like making new friends. so it will be.
i've decided that riding the bus for fun isn't fun anymore.
tis a sad day

i think i almost got jumped last night. serious.
i was heading home after my radio show*, it was about midnight and out of the darkness i hear the hurried conversation of a few sketchy characters, a man and a woman, standing in front of the store.
"...don't want no goddamn rock, i wan't my fucking coke..."
"....call him, he just got shit..."
"...can't, already ripped him man......don't want any fucking crack....."
"....we need to get some cash...we gotta find some poor suck....."

at this point i had walked out of the store and they began to whisper.
i started walking home and they started walking behind me, about ten feet or so, this went on for a few blocks, then i decided i wasn't taking any chances, so i ducked into julius pizza and pretended to talk to the pizza lady.
they hung around across the street for 10 minutes or so, and finally left.
so i crept out and took a shortcut home.

it freaked me out because i've been jumped before, and i'm not such a big person. plus i was carrying a bag full of cd's, most of which were not mine.
these crackhead's were also definately high as motherfucking kites.
fucking saint john.

i went home and dreamt of centaurs.

* listen to my radio show! Mondays 9-11pm on cfmh 92.5 in the saint john area
OR go to www.shoutcast.com and type in CFMH into the search engine, and stream it wherever you are!

yer hot

television eyes with the talking heads saying their final goodbyes
the afterhours fuzz seeps into my dreams
fighting currents of clashing emotions
tuning into waterfalls of misused intensity
forever falling
ending in a pool of forgotten memories
...

note: Mazord cd release tonight at tapps in Saint John, New Brunswick.
this band make me want to hug a bunny.

the fire burned high in st. martins wed night, with the moon casting faces in the ocean, casual kayakers killed it's liquid smile, as the children threw rocks at the flames, hopeful they'd fall straight to hell.
i wished you were here with me, and i wondered where the stars were in the sky that said i miss that.

i woke up thursday morning and played bingo with seniors and they grumbled and snarled as i took away their prized luggage and wheeled it to my car in front of them.

i ate nothing but macaroni yesterday

my legs hurt like the dickens. i seriously thought i was crippled this morning; the zombie dreams having taken their toll or something. holy delayed reaction body!
sat night i went to a rave. fuck it, i wanted to dance and since all my party friends moved away i deciced to go alone. i took some party favors and was feeling pretty good and dancing like a maniac for 7 hours, then the paranoia kicked in.
now any time i indulge my wee body into some extracurricular activites, i tend to hallucinate a little, no matter what it is. so at the peak of my fun, I’m looking around and everybody’s looking at me.
or maybe everybody was looking at me. that’s even scarier.
is this normal? besides the fact im flying, i mean.

anyhow, the night ended with beats in my head, sweaty clothes, most likely somebody elses bottle of water, and me, secretly dreaming of the hot guy watching me dance.

p.s. zombies ate my sister last night

first.blog.ever

you heard it hear first folks. im a blogger virgin. it guess i was expecting it to hurt more. my blog hymen has been torn.
but i guess that was implied so on with the show!

what to expect:
1. i don't capitalize anything. fuck the i's and proper names, they think the're all important and shit.
2. i think i'm funny but i'm really not.
3. i don't believe in cats; no, not that i don't like them, they simply don't exist.
4. i am wasting time at my soul sucking call center job.
5. my name is jilldo for godsakes.